I really don’t understand. Why is whenever it is damn crucial for me to have SUPERB grade in exam, there will always be PROBLEMS and my grade will be damn SUCKS, and cause me to feel DOWN!!
Tests from God? Might be. But now I feel down, tired, stress, stupid, lost of hope, down down DOWN! Hey, everybody got at least a C in Pure Maths 3 and I only got a U! Right now I am feeling completely like a MORON. Yup. Moronic girl who try to fool everyone and herself that she is a brilliant student who will be going to the UK. She didn’t even able to complete the practical examination paper for Chemistry, leaved almost all CALCULATION empty because she was panicking in the exam and earn herself a big fat D!!! Well guest what, she was also quite satisfied with herself when she got a C for her Pure Maths 1 paper. My Listening IELTS paper? Well, for that EASY paper I only get band 6.0.
I felt completely EXHAUSTED after I got those results. EXHAUSTED as I felt all my intense studying were wasted. EXHAUSTED as to think what to tell my parents when the precious letter from KPM arrive next semester. EXHAUSTED as to think what will happen to my predicted grade for my UCAS application. EXHAUSTED as I am still thinking of going to Imperial College London. EXHAUSTED as I know I was nowhere near him after all. EXHAUSTED as to see others with their wide smile as they got an A in their exam papers. EXHAUSTED. EXHAUSTED. Dead beat.
I want to continue studying. But I am EXHAUSTED.