Saturday, July 12

Facebook stalker

Sebenarnya, aku dah lupa aku ada blog. 


Secara tak sengaja aku jumpa balik blog aku bila aku tengah stalk junior. Then aku stalk balik profile aku untuk memastikan diorang tak nampak menda pelik. Then aku ternampak link blog aku kahkahkah. 

Aku punya jahat, aku stalk junior dengan method kemain advance, then aku gelak kuat-kuat. Zaman sekarang zaman dah pandai control macho. Jadi kau kena tengok zaman diorang innocent dan baru nak up kekekeke. 


1. Bukak page junior kau. Tengok wall dia. Dari situ kau akan nampak dia private atau tak. Atau pun dia memang tak aware orang stalk dia dan tak control langsung info kat wall kahkah. 

2. Next step, bahagian details. Selalunya kat situ akan ada info lengkap pasal sekolah, adik beradik, upbringing etc. Dan selalu jugak bahagian itu nama sekolah menengah dia akan missing. Well zaman sekolah menengah kan taboo. Hiks. 

3. Then, bukak gambar. Ni paling best. Untuk gambar baru dia, kau skimmed through je gambar baru-baru dia. Yang ni selalu gambar macho/ayu. Then kau bukak gambar dia yang paling baru, tekan kat sebelah kiri. Jengggg. You got his oldest picture in the profile. Masa ni memang akan terburai gelak. Kemudian teruskan tekan sebelah kiri hahahaha lebih banyak gambar amusing akan muncul. 

4. Last point adalah refleksi. Kau bukak balik profile kau, tengok bahagian View as. Sila pastikan profile kau tidak menjadi bahan gelak junior kau pulak lols. 

Friday, September 20

Confession of a 23 Year-old License-less Graduated Kampung Girl.

For the previous 23 years of my life, whenever people questioned about my lack of driving license self, I would told them that it was because of my father's doing. See, I am his precious little girl. Remembering all the stunts and accidents that  I encountered on my bicycle alone shivers him. No license, he said.  

The truth is I have always been scared to take a driving license of my own. Hearing the tales about the atrocious JPJ officers on their tests scares the shite out of me. Everyday news on gruesome traffic accidents did nothing to help either. Plus I was going abroad for my studies, and with the thought that I won't be needing the license after all as the public transport in the UK is superb, I forget this driving business. 



When I graduated in July, I was summoned back to Malaysia as soon as our graduation was over to fulfill our 8 years contract with the government. Some of us tried to extend our stay, trying to fish some pound sterling notes with the remaining duration on their visas. Some were just trying to finish their notes on travelling and shopping. And a few were too attached to the English land to go home. 
Only a handful were given the luxury. Others were emailed to come home immediately.
   
However, upon our arrival, none of the email came. We tried to call, the ringing went for ages, as though the number belongs to the hotline for Hellgirl. A few were answered, but no definite answer was given. 

In the Facebook forum. 
"I am thinking of getting a new permanent job"
"Can't get a part-time job. They won't hire any hijabis"
"You know we're in contract rite? You might have to pay the million ringgit scholarship refund"   
"Damn you moe moe"
"Got a job already. Beat ya!"
"I AM BROKE."
"I wish I am still in the UK"
"I wish I'm not home at all"

In the end, we got an unofficial response from someone who managed to have her call answered by the Hellgirl. 

"Our training will start on January."
People went berserk. And immediately went to find a temporary job.   


Myself included. I was attracted to profession as research assistant. I contacted a few friends that had been in local universities whom I still had the courage to talk to, and asked if there are any RA jobs available in their school. 
Turns out they are plenty. Most of them requires at least a six-months contract, and pursue in master's degree. I managed to talk to some researchers asking if it's possible to do a contract until January. 
Now the job is there. 



And then new problem arise. 
I have no means of transportation to transport me to work. -_-

My kampung was situated besides paddy fields and the Utara-Selatan Highway. Although this is the case, the nearest bus stop is two-and-a-half kilometres away. And buses as scarce. One per hour. One for two hours if you're lucky. Be ready to experience Bangladeshi culture upon your ride on the Rapid Penang bus. 
     
I have to walk for an hour if I am in a dire need for a prepaid top-up. 
Even the name of my kampung is weird. Enough to make my dear friends (Kelantanese by the way) laugh at the distinct name.     

Being the one that cannot ride a bike, let alone to have any skill to drive a damn car, I am stuck in my house. I don't even step outside the door, as I am bratty enough to let the cold gloomy weather of Lancaster beat the hot perspirative Malaysia. My only source of communication is the internet. 

After two whole months living like a caveman, I could not take this no more. Even a cave is colder than my house. I don't go anywhere, unless in certain events where my father would take his car out for a night drive. Waking up late and reading manga/ playing games/ watching J-drama/ reading fictions and politics all day everyday was nice, but I am starting to feel worthless. 

My father would prefer me staying home like this until I resume my training in January. But being the person that would be travelling even for a weekend trip while in the UK, the House Lifestyle really put me in despair.   


Two weeks before, I started my license course, and will receive my L in the next week. It might take another month for me to complete my P. Until then, House Lifestyle. No job, no money, being a hikikimori. Am open for any lost soul who were back in Penang but had no one to hang out with. As long as you have a car I am in. 


Improve our public trasnport already la! 

Saturday, September 7

Male Favouritism

Penyakit ni ada pada wanita dewasa.
At least dalam observation aku lah.


Dulu ada ustazah kat sekolah ni. Dia ni memang famous gila lah.
Apa-apa soalan yang dia tanya, student lelaki ja yang dia suruh jawab.
Tapi sebab satu kelas tu student perempuan memang tak hingin nak jawab pun dan tak ambil port ustazah ni nak tanya apa, jadi perkara ini lama-kelamaan menjadi kebiasaan.

Sekarang ni between member pun aku dah mula observe menda yang sama.
Sad really.
Paling senang tengok dalam Facebook.
Dalam thread komen.

You'll see, ada certain orang, dalam komen yang sama, bila perempuan komen, dia akan either ignore, like tapi tak reply, atau jawab sepatah dua. Bila lelaki komen, wuuu dalam masa setengah minit dah siap komen 4 5 baris.



Maka aku pun mula berhipotesis. Kehkeh.

Maybe, maybe, sebab lelaki ni pandai converse. Komen depa semua repliable. Komen perempuan sometimes akan menimbulkan awkward response, yang hang taktau nak reply macam mana. So hang like ja lah.



Atau, atau, perempuan ni memang berminat perkara yang bukan perempuan. Contoh, anime, dan manga. Berapa kerat saja perempuan yang lain yang akan faham kejadah apa yang anda cuba sampaikan. Dalam kepala hotak aku pun, antara ramai-ramai member, yang tau menda gini, Aimi-chan, Amar, dan Anneh. Itu pun anneh dah lama tinggal. So ini applicable untuk hypotesis pertama. Contoh;

Status : wth Sasuke kau tetiba datang mau jadi Hokage. Ahhh aku bingung!

Respond L1 : Tetiba sekampung mau jadi Hokage jugak kan.
Respond P2 : Sasuke comel gillew!
Respond P3 : woi spoiler! plis restrain. aku ada exam. esok baru nak baca.

Kalau perempuan komen jugak menda yang dia tak faham, ini menimbulkan awkward atmosphere sekali lagi, seperti P2. Hang nak jawab apa? Jadi kita ignore.
Kot.



Dan hypotesis-hypotesis di atas mungkin apply juga di real world. Ustazah tadi, kalau perempuan yang bagi jawapan pada soalan-soalan dia, mungkin tak sehip jawapan student lelaki. Jadi untuk menjadikan kelas beliau lebih lively, dia bertanya kepada lelaki.
Kot.


How to solve le probleme?

Girls please don't take your girlfriends for granted. Mungkin depa selalu ada di sekeliling, atau nanti hampa akan kahwin dengan lelaki bukan dengan perempuan, atau kalau nak tumpang pi mana-mana member perempuan selalu unavailable sebab takut bawak kereta.

But still kalau hampa bergaduh dengan jantan, hampa datang cari member perempuan juga kan? Weewooweewoo.

Monday, September 2

Flickr

Status : Masih menganggur.

Khabar angin yang diterima, kami akan dipanggil bulan January nanti. Nunnnn bulan 1. 4 bulan lagi. Dan kursus akan dipanjangkan menjadi setahun setengah. Am I bovvered? Yeah very.


Jadi aku memulakan proses memburu kerja. Segala member di university-university dalam negara aku mesej, mintak tengok kot-kot kerja RA ada kosong.
Melambak.
Then aku email satu-satu.
They want a 6 months contract at least. Aku pulak vacant 4 bulan ja.

Semangat weh aku nak sign ja buat bodoh. Tapi makpak kata jangan. Dok saja la rumah. Rehat katanya.
Tapi being me yang walau cuti hujung minggu pun aku redah pi travel, agak keberatan untuk menerima offer parents I.
See,
     cuti = takdak kerja = bangun lambat.

Ini membuatkan cuak membuak. Bangun lambat maka sia-sialah hidup. Asyik terngiang UAI cakap,
"hidup 60 taung. tiap hari 8 jam tido. gilo 20 tahun jo tido"


Walau berat, terpaksa juge aku menyambut seruan makpak. Sebab sape pule nak menghantar kerja tetiap hari, kawan takde lesen haha. Dan sekarang koboi gila Malaysiaku, tembak sakan Penang ni. Dan kata abah "hang dok rumah makan banyak mana ja, kalau nak keluaq tu yang jenuh bayaq sewa minyak makan mahai blabla"

Finelah fine.


Jadi terpaksa berplan memanfaatkan masa terluang sebelum menjadi dewasa.

1 - Ambik lesen. Ini sangat penting. Kereta takdak takpa janji lesen ado.
2 - Buat braces. Well bayaran ansuran dengan seciput wang yang disave sebelum pulang -_-
3 - Weh for people yang nak travel sendiri tapi malas cari, aku still open for business. Cakap bila mau travel, ke mana, aku tolong carikan tiket flight / transport inter/inner-cities / accommodation / place infos / attraction / makan / currency dan semua-semua lah. Still dengan rate lama. Heheh.
4 - Update Flickr. Walaupun aktiviti ni nampak macam picisan, ia adalah portfolio aku untuk bidang photography. Ya saya masih berminat menjadi seorang cosplay photographer so anyone need any newbies hire I offer myself.
5 - Memantapkan skill masak. Haa la ni western ja tapi mari masak lauk kampung pule.




In the end, aku sekarang Yorozuya. Hampa nak hire aku boleh saja, asalkan halal di sisi syariat.=)

Tuesday, August 27

Fasa Baru

Even though aku dah tamat pengajian degree, tapi kebarangkalian aku akan merepek still adalah sangat tinggi. Merepek is by blood, by genetics, tak payah lah nak pesan suruh jadi matang sangat. Matang dan merepek adalah dua benda yang independent by the way. Ada orang yang kurang matang, tapi dia tak merepek what.


Baru-baru ni aku terjebak dengan banyak benda yang agak dewasa. Contohnya, apakah ciri-ciri seseorang wanita itu berjaya berkahwin dan menjadi seorang isteri.

Well aku selalu compare apa yang depa ada dan apa yang aku takdak.
Dan sesungguhnya hypothesis "orang yang dah kawin ni dia ada X Factor...." adalah tidak boleh dipakai sama sekali. Sebab,
1) sapa pun taktau x-factor kejadah apa yang perlu ada dengan seseorang. Ada member aku masa kecik sama dengan aku, bila besar dia still lagi budak kecik yang sama dengan aku, tapi dia kawin dulu.
2) well isu kematangan. Matang atau kahwin yang sampai dulu?

Mehhh last-last aku decide nak isi borang. Desperate.
But then borang pun takmau aku mengisinya.
Haha.



Isu lain, kejadah sungguh sponsor aku.
Sponsor aku, MOE MOE (bukan nama sebenar) nampaknya telah mengabaikan kami satu batch. Setelah menggesa semua pelajar pulang dari Montenegro (buka negara sebenar), kami dilayan bagai kuman yang dihapuskan oleh serbuk pencuci Vanish. Yes we are banished in their eyes. Satu berita pun takdak.

Aku rasa macam kena nikah gantung. Nafkah tak bagi, khabar berita pun takdak, tapi nak kawin lain tak boleh. Nak minta cerai tak bagi.
See ini effect dia. Aku belum kawin lagi pun tapi dah kena pikir pasal nikah gantung cerai bagai.



Dan disebabkan sponsor aku buat pasai, I can't even settle my driving license and braces stuff. Sebab depa tak bagi kata putus bilakah kami akan dimasukkan ke Institut Pemulihan Negara (bukan nama sebenar).


Ohhh my life is jumbling. That is why I hate graduating. Expected thing. puehhh.